Monthly Archives: February 2015

‘Sex Work’- The Dignity Of Men

Call it what it is, it’s prostitution.

The dignity of men is something they take very seriously. Dignity, even and especially, under (male) law, is predicated on the concept of choice. The male concept of dignity is based on status due to class structure.

A lot of people with little choice also like to claim they have choice because it is linked to the concept of dignity.

The rhetoric around prostitution being an industry of stigma and shame for the prostituted relies entirely on making sure men do not look bad. Men are shamed only by association and proximity to the prostituted person rather than their creation and ongoing demand for us.

They use us because we are there, and they want to feel dignified in doing so.
There is no cognizance by the general public that men put us there. There is no cognizance of who benefits from us being there. There is no cognizance of who created the situation of us being there.

The rhetoric used to sanitise prostitution as ‘empowering’, ‘sex work’ and worthy of a status of ‘dignity’ exists entirely to make the men who exploits us look non-exploitative. The pimp lobby know the primary function of the term ‘sex ‘work’ is to benefit and further the sex trade (i.e men’s ‘right’ to buy us for sex and to profit from it.)

The well-meaning general public, who use the term ‘sex work’ in the hope of not appearing bigoted or denying us ‘choice’, help reinforce the rights and dignity of pimps and johns. In the interests of male dignity, dignity is inseparable from the word ‘choice’. In terms of the (male) status quo dignity is underpinned and measured by choice. Heaven forbid someone appear not to have a choice! What is really being said when we use the term ‘sex work’ is that she ‘chooses’. Now isn’t this convenient?

For this reason, (one of many), it is not incumbent on myself or any other prostituted person to prove, let alone be grateful and endorse, the term ‘sex work’ as a dignifying.

We do not commit the undignified acts against us and as such have nothing to prove,( or be grateful for), when the media or the general public uses it. In fact, the implication that we do is insulting and more seriously, an obfuscation of exactly who is committing the acts here.
We are prostituted. The word is ugly and visceral. Put simply, it is truthful. This is why the pimps and johns don’t want us to use it, and why the general public may not want to hear it.
We do not owe dignity to the pimps and johns. Nor do we owe the general public a sense of ease or feeling better about themselves when it comes to prostitution.

If you are reading this as a non-prostituted person, or someone who uses the term ‘sex work’, I would ask you to consider who benefits from this euphemism. Most of us are familiar with the effectiveness of ‘weasel words’ , just  think  how easily ‘collateral damage’ slipped off the tongues of warmongers. If we can wise up to that, we can extend some critical thinking to what we participate in when we call prostitution ‘work’.



18 Myths on Prostitution

On the Sovereign Violence of Women

Jane Clare Jones

Ahmned quote2

Sara Ahmed, The Cultural Politics of Emotion

Butler quote 2

Judith Butler, The Future of Sexual Difference

I am trying to understand – I have been trying to understand – how, having steeped ourselves in a similar tradition, we could come to such different conclusions.

It is claimed that certain women should not say certain things. That a woman who finds healing from male violence in the company of other women should be silent about the power of that healing. That she should not try to protect that space (or even raise questions about protecting that space). That she is wrong to be concerned that it will no longer be there for the women who come after her. Because that healing comes at the expense of others. Because that healing, therefore, is violence.

I understand something of the logic. I have spent my life thinking the resistance to sovereign violence, unpicking the way…

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Rebecca Mott

You would think as an exited prostituted woman, well as a woman, I would be used to name-calling. But there a new invented word that sends out poison.


It is has a word that has no meaning, but is used to shame and degrade abolitionists.

It is wrong to use that kind of language against anyone who bravely fights for the human rights of prostituted – but to used against those us who have exited the sex trade is insulting and deeply ignorant.

I cannot understand how it possible to accuse anyone who has somehow manage to exit the sex trade of being afraid or hate others inside that world.

But it not about any type of phobia – no it plain and simple speech use to shame and silence us.

We are speaking truth to power – and that power wants more than silence, it wants us wiped…

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White Ribbon Australia—and 50 shades of betrayal

Radfem Groundhog Day


White Ribbon Australia is currently making ‘news’ for all the wrong reasons.

First to come to my attention was Clementine Ford’s most brilliant, and word perfect article in Daily Life, titled “White Ribbon Ambassador Tanveer Ahmed’s dangerous message on domestic violence“, in which she expertly exposes Ahmed’s ’emasculation’ and ‘disenfranchisement’ excuses (for male violence) as the woman-blaming anti-feminism that they truly are. The article in The Australian by Ahmed is unfortunately subscriber-only, but it will be recalled that just a few short weeks ago, that same paper were slammedfor themisogynist obituary of writer Colleen McCullough—editorial oversight, my (fat) ass.

Yes, we still very much live in an anti-woman world, where mainstream newspapers can regularly publish misogyny, and think they can get away with it. Is this really the sign that we live in a world of ‘male emasculation’? No, quite the opposite, it shows…

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Male #VAW: until we have two hands doing the same thing, this situation is not going to change.

via real For Women

REAL for women

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We are scapegoats. While all women live with the impact of what prostituting us does, prostituted women are also used (in vain) to deflect male violence from the non-prostituted. These women don’t want this for us, but they can, as a psychological defense, separate us as “other” than themselves. As Dworkin put it, to not do so makes the fear of what happens to women “palpable” and thus something most people want to avoid feeling. When we really can not separate ourselves from another’s suffering, and we know these vile men who buy and sells some women would buy and sell all- that is a horrible reality to know. But we need the voices of the non-prostituted to fight for us. We need these voices so badly.

Rebecca Mott

I have been seeing some support around trolls writing mental violence to many radical feminists, or even women who just speak their mind.

It is horrific that there is such silencing of women, but it is wonderful that it has got good women and a few men to give support and plan actions.

There is a sisterhood for many women attacked on the net – but is that sisterhood willing to reach out to exited women when they are under constant attack.

Sadly, it appears highly unlikely, or only there if it is easy or about signing petitions or clicking “like”.

There is little or no rallying round when violence and hate to exited women becomes all too real.

Where is the sisterhood when it comes to standing to pimp/punter- thinking?

Where is the sisterhood when exited women speaks out about physical attacks from the sex trade lobby?

And would…

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QotD: “August Never Ends”

From Anti-Porn Feminists and yes.

Anti-Porn Feminists

No matter what has been done to you, you’re really the one on trial when you’re fighting for your right to not live under constant threats and harassment. You’ve gained a superpower without even realizing it – you’ve become un-abusable. It’s impossible to these people that anything real could ever happen to you, because they’re coming from a starting point of flat-out ignoring or denying anything that could challenge that view, so every bit of privacy of yours that they inject themselves into is only there to continue pushing that notion. You could save a box of kittens from a burning building and the scandal the next day would be that you must hate dogs. Even if you keep your head down, even if you try to be “the perfect victim” and never instigate things, never fight back outside of legal channels, never let your humanity peek through and react…

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To the men who love us, are you really helping us?

From Real For Women

REAL for women

For females, being raised in and living among a society filled with porn and rape culture, constant male privilege over the subordination and objectification of us, male voices; government and big business, male desires, male wants, etc, creates a state of hyper vigilance in a lot of women. “When will I be confronted next, when will I have my safe-space invaded, when will I be reminded that i’m invisible, worthless, an object, powerless, disposable?” And it would be remiss not to mention the times people laugh, make jokes, or make harsh comments when we are triggered by what we are constantly inundated with.

This is just in mainstream culture, everywhere-everyday forms of media that wallpaper our lives. Where a safe space can’t even be found in our own house, if we choose, like the rest of the population, to relax in front of the TV or open…

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