“Just for a second you can see the sense of betrayal, that shock at feeling deceived, that physical recoil.”
She was chatting away with me quite happily, this older woman in the shop. I was holding my goddaughter and she was cooing over her. She was bringing out the tired old “just like a girl” tropes but was very friendly and warmly talking about children. I mentioned mine. She smiled.
I mentioned that my ex partner gave birth. She stopped dead.
And she wouldn’t speak to me, or look at me.
From one second to the next, what been an animated and warm conversation became the pointed ignoring of a customer.
I wondered, what was it that upset her so much. Was it that she couldn’t tell? Was it the fear that if you can’t spot a lesbian, then they could be anywhere.
While “readily identifiable” lesbians provoke one sort of reaction, and one they are unable to avoid, do “invisible” lesbians kindle an anxiety precisely because we cannot be readily identified and…
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